MY TURN--While dating has always been an “iffy” condition, in today’s world of “hooking up”, interest in an individual’s political affiliation has become a priority.
Many are putting their politics as part of their dating app bios and for conservatives, this has become a major problem. It appears that those that support Trump are at the bottom of the list and they seem to be quite confused about it. Apparently they don’t “get” the fact that liberals don’t want to associate with those that believe in sexism, racism, bigotry and hate.
I admit it, when I think of single conservatives, a vision of the old Mad TV “Lowered Expectations” comes into play. While that might not be fair, it is often the reality of the type of people that choose to be conservative. When you are interested in developing a relationship with someone, whether long or short term, you want to create a baseline of getting along. Doing this means that your life philosophies need to sync on general topics. The last thing that you want is to go out to dinner or a movie and have the person that you are with cause embarrassment. Years ago I had that happen when the guy on our date snapped his fingers at the waitress, called a maître d’ of color “boy” and got angry at me as I wanted to pay for part of our meal and leave a good tip. The ensuing heated argument covered his opinion about “these people” deserving to earn lower wages and how most of them were probably on welfare. He had never exposed this type of behavior in any of our conversations but for me, that was it.
It seems that the divide in political beliefs between liberals and conservatives has become so great that in DC, where politics rules, conservatives are experiencing major problems in getting dates. In an article in the Washingtonian, they indicate:
“The policies and these things that are attached to the right whether or not you’re a supporter of Trump have been pre-supposed on you, and it’s like a black mark,’ says another reporter at the same outlet, who describes himself as a moderate conservative.”
Conservative Women: Low Self-Esteem
In all fairness, we can’t just mention conservative men but must include conservative women in the discussion. As a liberal woman, I have devoted a lifetime to equality on all levels as well as protecting the planet. Coming from a poor background, I know what it’s like to pull yourself up, work harder and longer hours, and pay for your own schooling while working. My words are not from the privileged standpoint but from one that has achieved through personal endeavor.
When I come across a conservative woman, there are usually a few telltale comments that are heard: First they are extremely religious, often evangelical. They believe the man is the head of the household (even when he abandons or beats them), that women that work are taking a job away from a man and that women have “enough” equality in the world. Of course, they also don’t support a woman’s right to choose and in some cases don’t believe in birth control at all. One conservative female neighbor places value on only male children, even though she had a daughter and a son. In this case, her daughter experienced the horrors of being raised this way, but inevitably overcame them, attended college and succeeded in ways that her mother eventually became jealous of.
If you take the time to really get to know some of these women (and I have), you ultimately find out that they have low self-esteem. It takes some digging, but it validates why they seem to feel that men should be put on a pedestal and women should remain in the kitchen (and bedroom). Over the years I have had a number of run-ins with these types of women and have even had a few neighbors that fit this description. The one area that I have noticed is that many also suffer from “Stockholm Syndrome” and will defend and protect even a partner that abuses them.
For the conservative women that are looking to “hook up” they have a particular type of male that appeals to them. They aren’t interested in the kind of working partnership that is an almost requirement in today’s society as they have specific home job descriptions that have been brainwashed into their heads. Their view of liberal women is one that they simply can’t understand and since they usually base their information on “Fox”, they have an unrealistic idea of both liberal men and women. They look to sexist comments as if they are compliments and have those old fashioned ideologies of “getting a man” as the main point in life. They equate women that set personal achievement and success goals as being man-haters and they seek out conservative men that will support their belief systems.
Conservative men and women often share a few traits and in the dating world liberals can easily peg them with hyper-nationalistic displays of the American flag as well as the obnoxious red hats. But not all are that easy to distinguish, especially if they create bios that they know will attract a larger group.
As People Suffer — Conservatives Continue the Blame Game
Today’s political differences go beyond just a few topics. As we look on in horror we are seeing Republicans cross every legal and moral barrier that no other administration has ever dared to tread. From illegal business dealings to outright betrayal of high level security secrets to enemies, conservatives are simply ignoring all of it. Instead of hearing and listening to overall news channels that cover many topics, the conservative male and female chooses Fox, whose reporting has already been proven to be only an average of 18% truth and have aligned themselves as part of the extreme Trump spin.
This is an important aspect as one of the latest conservative explanations as to why they are having problems in the dating realm is to blame the liberals; specifically liberal women. Not surprising, as the White House has set an example in the lack of accountability, blaming everyone else for the problems that they themselves create.
The Washington Post addresses this in their article: No, liberal women who refuse to date conservatives are not to blame for Trump. Apparently conservatives seem to think that because we don’t accept their extreme support of everything that is non-American, non-equal and downright awful, that it is our fault that they voted for Trump. They cover a poorly written article from The Federalist (only partially corrected by the author) as he blames liberal women who support Planned Parenthood as having created a deal-breaker attitude in the dating realm.
This attitude simply encourages the lack of accountability and child-like “it’s their fault” perspective that is the purveying guidelines in DC today and supported by such fantasy channels as Fox or OAN. When it comes to enjoying a partnership with another human being, the subject of a right to choose as well as birth control is elevated as a priority. As humans we are in pursuit of happiness in our lives and if we have a significant other whose philosophies force us into a life of drudgery, child bearing and lack of achievement, then what is the point? Making a selection to not adopt a relationship with that individual that wants to impose oppression on us is not only our ultimate expression of freedom, but our right.
Hey Conservatives: Can’t Get a Date? Have You Thought It Might be YOU?
Over the last year there has been an assortment of articles written on the topic of the lack of appeal of conservatives. Some cover the fact that the conservatives are whining about it, while others, such as the Washington Post article, list liberals as the focus of the blame. For anyone that has taken a Psychology 101 course, this situation is very clear. One doesn’t freely enter into any form of relationship in which you will encounter ideologies that are diversely opposite of your core beliefs. These always surface and can be the source of recurring problems that are simply destructive.
If conservatives are finding it difficult to find people to “hook up” with, maybe it’s time that they try to look in the mirror. No one wants to be around someone that is going to cause them any form of pain or cross the threshold of hard fought equality.
If conservatives want to blame someone, blame themselves for being backwards. I am sure there are both men and women out there that might feel the same as they do, and if they are having difficulties finding them, it’s not our problem.
(S. Novi is a journalist that worked in the media when it DID have integrity. A liberal and one that is suspicious of cults and empty promises. She is a Medium member and an occasional contributor to CityWatch.)